“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”
– C.S. Lewis

I do believe Mr. C.S. Lewis was incredibly correct in this regard. To me, this quote means that unless I put on my big girl pants and get out of my comfort zone, I will never grow in the ways I am meant to.

In a way, living abroad and traveling these next two months is my own way of forcing myself to hatch. I don’t want to be just an ordinary, decent egg. I want to be the best egg I can possibly be – nurtured, challenged, and – most importantly – excited to break from my shell. Dramatic, isn’t it? (I’m an English major – I’m allowed to be dramatic sometimes.)

Now that I’ve finished a whole week of the CPC, I have been reflecting on my priorities, my growth as a young adult, and my goals for the future. It’s terrifying, but thrilling. Being here has forced me to be away from those I feel safest with and can find comfort in. Instead, I am here alone figuring out the trajectory of my career, and potentially my life. And I can confidently say that after a week I am just as lost as I was in the beginning, but I am – at the very least – more aware of my options. To be honest, they are not the options that I necessarily wanted to hear, but such is life I suppose.

I have spent this week listening to publishing executives, young, upcoming agents, and everything in between. Everyone has a different perspective on where the industry is going, but there is always one constant: publishing is built off of relationships. For an introvert, this is absolutely terrifying.

But enough of waxing on about my hopes and dreams. In the latter half of the week, I finally had the opportunity to take a walk along the River Thames, punt on the River Cherwell, and experience the nightlife scene. It is so incredibly beautiful here, and I often pinch myself to make sure that it’s real.

I’ve spent quality time with my new friends here (everyone is so cool1) and had deep conversations about literature and critical analysis that I think anyone outside of this group would probably find very weird. I’ve explored Blackwell’s books and its infamous Norrington Room (which if you didn’t know, is the world’s largest bookselling room, and yes, it is insane), and gotten lunch at the oldest coffeehouse in Europe. I’ve been in rooms that C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien worked and studied in and walked streets that were built before America was discovered. Literally what is my life. Feeling blessed beyond measure.

I wonder what week two will bring?

From Oxford, With Love,

Haley